Glad to hear from you... its been a while...

Youve been in my thoughts and prayers...

Have a great day today....

Love and HUggs

Janica

Good for you, saying goodbye to the lawyer. Sex is great but it's not enough. Now I've got the other half, but no sex. It would be nice to be able to put the two together again someday.

Enjoy your trip! Sounds like things are looking up for you.

One of my new e-pals told me he has Manieres disease. Thanks to you, I knew what that was. At least I think it was you. Do you still have problems with it?

Glad to hear you are doing well.

Oh Lori, I'm so happy for you! Glad to hear you're doing well, and life is good.

Congratulations to your sister, and I hope she is very, very happy. Sunset in Corpus Christi sounds very beautiful.  Love the ocean like I love the mountains...

And don't worry....... you have an open invitation here.  October in Arkansas is so much prettier than August, anyway, and lots cooler. So I look forward to seeing you whenever you can come.

Be blessed, sweet friend.  Love, Gina

I find that so many people (I would say men but I've heard from my widower e-pal that the same holds true for women) who advertise to meet someone on dating websites, craigslist, etc., have never really considered what they might be getting into. They haven't really considered whether they're ready for a relationship, for instance. They seem to fool themselves (and others) into thinking they're not just looking for sex, but life circumstances make them essentially unavailable for much else.

I feel for your predicament here. Having waited so long between dates puts you in a vulnerable position. I'm pretty vulnerable myself (and have been for 4 years now) so I can recognize it and empathize. I've had to rationalize what has happened to me with various guys who have crossed my path so many times, telling myself not to cast my pearls before swine. There are undoubtedly other pearls out there like yourself, but there are also a lot of wolves in sheep's clothing.

You're a tender, feeling woman and I suspect from what you've written here that you're more than ready for a relationship. The man you've met may be the same, but on the other hand, maybe he's just bitten off more than he can chew. I'm not judging him any more than I would judge you, but it's good that you have your eyes open. The danger signs are already in place. You've already opened yourself up to him. Like me, maybe you've been a bit too eager, but that's almost unavoidable when it's been so long since you've dated.

Anyway, I hope you'll keep writing because it does help to write things out and doesn't hurt to get a little moral support from your friends here at MDD. Take care.

Hmmm, I know u wrote this for yourself...I just wanted to let you know that I feel like I identified with you once. Just that I had to decide if I wanted to be the outside woman. I liked this guy so badly and all for all of a few hrs and was prepared to just be there because I wanted him so much...I changed my mind because I wanted more!

I think you know that you dont want this or you know that you deserve better, youll make the decision when you feel you can.

Be strong...

[Liliah]

Thanks Lori...I'll email you the info and then you'll have my email address too!!  But you don't have to send me a goody bag....(but I do like surprises )

The details have just rolled in today.  My actual doctor has called me 4 times just today to let me know the progress he's making.  Apparently the cancer that has spread to my tailbone is big..and intertwined (sp?) in in the bone...so it's going to be a tougher ride than I thought.  They thyroid is easy...it's the back now that the're focusing on !! 

Not good news...uck !!!  But that's ok...I don't care how or when God heals me...I'm up for the fight.  Thanks for caring Lori !!!

Hooray for you for being someone who can put HSV in perspective! Good luck with the cute lawyer. I hope your second date with him will be (or was?) as nice as the first.

So how was your trip? And where's the picture? (I should talk.. I've been slow as molasses in January with my entries lately) 

Funny, you used the same expression I did in my entry, but I swear I didn't read yours first. Where did that come from? I remember they used it on "Laugh In". Is that it?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!!!  I'm about 3 hours south/southwest of Mountain Home. If you've driven all the way from MN I would be delighted to drive to Mt. Home! Let me know when!

I promise to keep your mom in my prayers. I'm so sorry for her loss.

I hope you're having a wonderful time, Lori!  Can't wait to see pictures.

I loved hearing about your latest date! Sounds like you had a good time.  I'm poised and ready to hear about date number 2!  Sounds promising.....  Even if nothing romantic happens, you always need to have a lawyer as a friend, right? 

Take care, and enjoy your time away.  Love, Gina

"What a BEAUTIFUL smile on the first picture Ray.  You can tell you were the joy of her life!"

Yeah, she did have a beautiful smile on her face. I was very fortunate to have her in my life. We were so very close and now it's difficult to imagine life withut her. Nut life go on, I guess, but it won't be easy.

Take care.

Oh poor you! Trying to sleep when someone is snoring is the worst! It's much easier being the snorer! Summer tells me I snore really, really loud.  One of these days, I swear I'm going to have a sleep study done. Really.

Sounds like other than the late night sound show, you had a good time.  I'm so glad.  Yes, those 90 degree temps are no fun.  I have a new patient from Michigan and this is his first trip down south.  He was bemoaning how warm it was outside, and really it was nothing.  I reminded him this is only June; he hasn't yet experienced August in Arkansas!

Take care, have fun whenever and wherever you can find it.  Love, Gina

Oh Lori, I've missed you! I had imagined you lounging on the beach enjoying the lakeside breeze.   So sorry to hear you didn't get to go. 

I so don't miss those homework days!  At least you have a heads up now, and won't be caught unaware at the end of the next school year!  I remember when Summer was in junior high/high school and I would understand why some species eat their young. Just makes things so much simpler.

Thankfully, we all suvived those times and you will too.  Think of me as you're riding the bus to and from work.  I get to drive 40 minutes and THEN ride the bus! 

Love you, girlfriend.

It's good to read an update from you. It's ok if it's about hassles and not about fun.. this is all part of life.

I don't know why some kids care so much about school and grades and others don't. We know what it means to get a good education but they often can't see it. It's a shame you'll have to start checking up on him but if that's what it takes, then maybe it will turn out ok in the long run. My younger nephew wasn't into school and he barely graduated from high school. It spilled over and he couldn't hold a job either, so now he's in the Army and in Iraq. I hope he'll come back home in one piece. School and homework do matter!

Anyway, do you ever still have problems with Manieres disease? (did I spell that right?) Could the motion sickness be related? Not that I know what to do about it, unless Dramamine might help.

I hope you'll enjoy your trip when it does happen. Take care and do keep updating!

Thanks, Lori. You're right.. a lot of people have it, but it still carries a lot of social stigma. I think it is a deal breaker for some people, no matter how or when you tell them. But you're right about the condoms. Oddly enough, I didn't think about the warm shower but that makes sense. And I'm already on another, older daily medication (Acyclovir), although lately I seem to be getting occasional very mild outbreaks... maybe I should switch to Valtrex. I have a few Valtrex left from my initial outbreak last summer and only use them sparingly if I feel I might be having an outbreak. But I've never really had much of a problem with the disease. The last guy I told about it dumped me because of it anyway, but I'm sure it was for the best.

Anyway, thanks for your kind and helpful words. I hope you and your family are doing well.

Love,

Kathy

Where do the gas prices finally stop?!  We're sick of it here, too.

In spite of that, I hope you have a truly wonderful time enjoying the company of your sister and God's beautiful creation.  Have a safe trip! Hope you find those mushrooms.

oh i sure am jealous!! have a wonderful time!! being broke sucks, but hey if its THAT beautiful, you won't even think about it. plus, there's tons of stuff to do if you don't have money!

me? ima be nursing my mouth which has one less tooth in it. ugh

take care!

Don't I know that feeling !!  I wish I was there...I'd float you some cash to have for mad money...not that I have anything...but we don't have any plans !!!  Have Fun !!!  Enjoy the beauty...I hope your sister feeds you while you're there !!! 

btw....I posted pics so you can see my clan.  I enjoyed seeing yours a while back.

when u say ur goin to Lake surperior, do u mean as in lake superior state university? because i live 15 minutes away from there, that is weird....i live on a small reservation called Bay Mills. well get back to me, i hope u enjoy your trip.....try to have fun..

<3Kelli

Yeah... gas prices are unbeliveable!!! But duluth is BEAUTIFUL so I know you will have a good time anyway!! =)

[bananna]

Congratulations Lori on your baby becoming 18 !!!  Brina's choices sound so much like Josh !!!  I can soooooo relate to your concerns.  He's the exact same way with tests and school…and about the same timing of when it all began.  I too wonder how he’s going to make it in the world with his non-conformist mentality.  I love that about him…yet he takes it to the absolute extreme.  The difference between Josh and Brina is that Josh wants all the benefits and freedoms of being an adult, yet he won’t do what it takes to be independent.  Like…paying his way...not even a little.  He won't do what it takes to make the money it needs to be independent, etc.  He doesn’t always do his part around the house, etc.  He wants to play...all the time !!!  So therein lies our conflict.  He also doesn’t WANT to hear it from me. 

I sure wish you commented here more…sounds like we have a lot in common. 

Take care and enjoy your baby a little longer…They grow up too soon !!...yet sometimes…not soon enough.  J

Awwww.. my baby will also be turning 18 in June. Amazing, huh?

Yes, they say Einstein flunked school.. so you never know.

Happy Birthday, Brina!!!! How does 18 years go by so fast? Like ice cream melting in the sun....

People mature at different rates, and just because she doesn't have all her ducks in a row at 18 doesn't mean she won't have it by 19. Or 20. Or whenever.  I am celebrating with you that she is happy and healthy, and I know that someday that IQ of hers will take her very far.

Blessings, Lori.  Love, Gina

Well i hope she has a very Happy Birthday!!

18.. its a big one. haha.

When push comes to shove, she will learn quick what she needs to do.

Your Brina is absolutely beautiful! Her skin is exquisite! And her dress is so pretty.  Hope they had a good time.

Now I'm waiting to see Nick!

Love ya, Lori!

so sweet, she has a great smile, you are one cool mom too!

You have a beautiful daughter! Hope they had a great time!!!

Sounds like you had the perfect set up with your girlfriends too for the eve!

yay pictures!!!

always nice to see the face of the writer

Cool pictures, Lori! Thanks for posting them. You are absolutely beautiful!  And your little Tabbi is a doll.  Looks like everyone was having fun.

OK, now I'm hungry for tater tots......

Oooooooooh I'm looking forward to seeing your pictures!

Thank you so much for your love and encouragement, Lori. You are truly a blessing to me.

"Your forgot to list your MDD Family as assets. "

I did forget. I do treasure the MDD people who hang in there with me during this rough period. Thanks for reminding me.

Take care.

I've been through Iowa lots of times, and it's really pretty.  Green, and lots of corn.  The last time we drove through there, I remember telling my husband I would hate to try to give anyone directions there  (".......turn left at the white farmhouse.....")   EVERY  house is a white farmhouse!  But I hope you have so much fun on your roadtrip!

Oh, I really want to see pictures of your birthday bash!  You really have me intrigued about a tater tot buffet. (?)

Thanks for the update, even though you say it's boring.  Your "boring" is entertainment to me! You always make me smile.  Love ya sista.

A road trip to IA huh? SOunds about as fun as my up coming trip either in april or may to Missouri... going to meet up with a friend I lost contact with for 8 yrs and just got rehooked up with via Myspace....

Vegas sounds fun, Ive never been there... hoiping to get there sometime while Im still young...

Glad all is well with you...thanks for the update, I was starting to wonder....

We had a tatertot hotdish "soup" supper last night at church for lenten services... it was a hit, there was 6 different types of hotdises out there... everyone liked it,,, what Lutheran doesnt like a good tater tot hot dish?  LOL

Love and HUggs

Janica

Lori,

I wish I was going to be around this weekend, however I wont be, I have a retreat for church Im going on... But is sure does sound like fun and Id love to meet ya in person... not many from MN that I have on my fav's list.....

So have a grand time, enjoy your birthday bash... and have one for me....

Love and HUggs

Janica

Sounds like fun... let me check those lotto numbers again.

please, please post pix of the tater tot buffet for those of us that are geographically challenged.

not entirely. it would be HIS child.

RYC: that would be great if they didn't baby him and made him responsible at this point I just think it would be a set back.

[PaidTourist]

"I'm glad you have a good friend in Bernadette.  Tell her to update her diary too....I'd love to her hear more about what's going on in her life too!"

I sure did. She was over last night and I told her. She was touched that you remembered her and she remembers you, too.

Stay warm. It's going to be really cold here on friday.

Good advice, thanks Lori.

I'm the same way. I've never rejected a man because of his weight, even if I think he's too skinny! But as you say, many men are different. This one was actually not going to reject me because of my weight, though. At least he was willing to meet me to see what kind of spark was there. But then there were all these examining table questions and he stopped writing. He may already be history.. not a peep from him today. That's my main gripe. No ability to give things a chance.. just look for flaws and when you find a few, run for the exit. I'm OK with it. Better to find out now than later. I'm just disappointed. Another one bites the dust.

I'm wondering how you're doing? Is it cold up there? We had temps in the high 70's today. I had to turn on my air-conditioner!

Yes, drunken sledding.  Sledding in general is amazing, but if you are between buzzed and drunk, you are BOUND to have a great time!!! :) We are very careful, and should be the only two of about 10 drinking, so there are plenty of onlookers to help if something happens.  You can't really feel more like a kid when you sled. haha. You definately should get out there and play.  Takes the worries away!

Thanks for the snow-kisses! It was "almost" cold here this morning!

Tabbi's apartment sounds so sweet! I've only seen brownstones on TV and never in real life.  I don't think we have them in Arkansas!  This is a first step in a series of "growing up" steps for her! I remember how exciting that first apartment was for me.

You know, God just won't let me leave sweaters unfolded or unhung in the stores.  Sometimes He even asks me to pick up ones off the floor that I didn't knock off.  And when I go to a public restroom I sometimes stop and clean the sink.......

Wow a first apartment and everything, how exciting....

I hope she does well there!  And thats not a terrible spot to be either....could be worse.

Are you enjoying the snow?  Im not so much... I just like how it looks while it is falling and fresh on the ground, if we could have that but with 80degree temps I would be happy!!!!

Anywho, good going on the job thing.... keep on keepin on!

Ive got class to run to, will talk to you later....

Thanks for the update....

Love and HUggs

Janica

P.S. I kinda wish there were a KMart close to us, nearest one I think I Rochester or Northfield....LOL

Just checking in to see how you are doing... how things are going... Hope all is well!!!!

Update when you get the chance...

Love and HUggs

Janica

woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!  so happy for you!!!!!!

amanda wants to see the rocky horror picture show too.  i'm just waiting for an opportunity to take her!  have a great time!

CONGRATS on the new position and pay raise... Thats great....

Have a great evening... and Happy Birthday to Nick...

Let me know how the rocky horror picture show goes....Id love to see a live version of it.

Take care...

Love and HUggs

Janica 

[Rumyn]

Congrats for you!

Sucks for me cause my job stinks. Haha.

Lori, I'm sorry your visit with your mom wasn't the best.  It makes me sad too.  Please know you're still welcome here at Thanksgiving (or anytime for that matter.... )

I'm looking forward to hearing about your Great American Novel! Love, Gina

Thanks for updating. Sorry to hear about your relationship with your mom. I'll go back in your diary one day soon to see what you're talking about here. I can imagine that working those long days at your regular job and K-Mart would make anyone feel old!

We all know about anonymous voyeurism here! Are you writing a novel?

Anyway, it's good to hear what you've been up to even if you're too busy to update very often. I still think now and then about how you wanted to get us together at one point. I still think it would be fun. I hope you didn't think I wasn't interested. Take care.

OMG!! You totally cracked me up with the flirt city thing!!! Haha.. You're too funny!!

My mother and I have a very surfacey relationship also... I love her and I know she loves me but its not bonded the way it is supposed to be between mother and daughter... I think it comes from her knowing I feel like she let me down when I was a kid and being abused and she sat by and did nothing, I think she hurts inside because she let it ahppen to me and she does not know how to get rid of those feelings so she carries them with her... it is sad....

Sorry you are having tow ork so much.... I know it can be tough, but like you said it is amazing what the extra $100 bucks can help with mid pay period....I hope it gets easier for you.

Have a good day today....

Love and HUggs

Janica

i have had similar experiences where i pray the same thing..."don't let me be...."

i don't understand her way of thinking but i keep thinking "there must be something....some reason....why she's kind of avoiding and why it seems that she doesn't want anyone there for thanksgiving".  sometimes things make sense to them that don't to us. 

i'm sorry your hurt tho.  and i hope at least the visit is a good one.

Wow Lori...

 I'm impressed with you that you "let it go"... good for you to have your disappointed/sad moment but that you are able to "let it go"... I come from a large family and unfortunately, I do see my Mom playing favorites with grandkids and such... it hurts but I love her just the same.

I hope you have a wonderful visit with her.

[Blewmoon]

I remember when I was younger I made a conscious decision to NOT grow up to be my mother, and I still now have days where I have to remind myself to not be my mother.  Dont get me wrong, I love her and she did the best she could with what she was handed but it just wasnt good enough....She did raise me well enough to know WHO and HOW I didnt want to be tho....

A casino huh? What is she thinking? I hope you have a good visit despite the circumstances....

Have a good night...

Love and HUggs

Janica

actually....her teacher suggested the same thing, and i work one block from the college here.  so it is something we are tossing around for the winter semester.

i can't beleive this is her last year.  sigh.

thanks for being there.

I have had those times, watching Skye, when I wanted to say "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"  Just goes to show you what an amazing young woman you have raised.  Who knew?  I think there's more where this came from, so be prepared. 

Thank you for your sweet comment; it made me laugh! Hurry up, Thanksgiving!

Love,Gina

Hello and Thank YOU! I really enjoyed this entry... I need to go back and catch up with all the details... how many kids, ages, you know... I read you quite awhile back and was totally hooked with your writing!

Look very much forward to learning more about you!

Take care...and thanks for getting with Terri...Yes, I do miss her writing and her pics of her girls and such...she's got such talent!

Have a great weekend!

Carol

Sounds like she did a very good job in the handling of this call and situation... Good job Mom, you raised a fine young lady....

have agreat evening....

Love and HUggs

Janica

What a wonderful young lady you have raised.

Glad you are all safe.

awww...i got teary eyed reading this.  those moments are amazing indeed.

hope it's calmer there now.

Im in Minnesota also, near Red Wing.... did you get storms last night??

Cool survey...I might copy and paste it into myspace....

Have a great night....

Janica